Where People Fall in Love

They say people meet
At weddings
We met at the supermarket
Under the garish
Strip lights
Of Netto
We clashed trolleys
In the canned meat isle
As they curiously announced
Fidel Castro’s abdication
Over the tannoy
Anyone could’ve seen
It wouldn’t work
Her trolley was full
Of the organic
The green
The goodness of harvest
Mine was full of
Chocolate digestives
And vodka
But when you fall in love
You gloss over such things
I’m sorry to have to say
We didn’t last
We weren’t compatible,
And I’m not going to play
Second fiddle
To some drug dealing midget
Called Hercules.
No matter how romantically
We started
I don’t shop in Netto anymore
Hercules patrols there
Vying for blood
I go to Waitrose instead
Cripple myself financially
In the hope of finding
A higher class of lover
I lay in wait down the
Freezer isle
Cool and collected
Examining bags of peas
And ice cream
But as yet I’ve
Been unlucky
I think the floor manager
Has cottoned-on
He thinks I’m a shop-lifter
Or a shirt-lifter, or a skirt-lifter
He had me forcibly
Removed the other day
I had been waiting by the
Freezers so long
I had turned blue
That doesn’t look good
In front of prospective
Partners
I must keep up
Appearances
Circulate, check out
All the options
She’s out there
Waiting to be found
My high-class
supermarket lover.